Give me a pillow. I'm, again, in the emo state and very, very confused and a little depressed.
Dont ask me why and please, dont even attempt to pujuk me. I'm ok and take my word for it. If you persist, I might just get mad.
I just need to speak out, vent out and the only place I can do so is here in my blog because its mine and I dont have to care what others think. Except that this is the WWW means whatever I write is publisized for the world to see. Not good either. So I'm sparing the details but sharing the feeling.
I am feeling like a lost driver in that Berkeley roundabout in Klang (I think that's the name). I'm taking 12 o'clock, but secretly I wish I could go 6 o'clock. I drag the gears and move forward. Its not that 12 o'clock isnt good, its just somehow, I left my heart somewhere along the lines at 6 o'clock and I want to pick it back and start the journey anew. But the roundabout is so blardy damn jam and I'm running out of time so I cant turn back. No, too many negative implications to the cars surrounding me that I absolutely cannot, cannot do this. I must move on, even if the heart is far behind. Perhaps over time, I will realise that I never really dropped it, it was merely in the car boot. Or perhaps I will run out of power, and die a slow death. I dont know, only time will tell.
Can't really work now; the brains just wouldn't operate, the heart, is just feeling sick. Sometimes I wish I was simpler. Or things could go MY way. But alas, no. Life is much more complicated than our imagination and wanting to be carefreee is wishful thinking.
I dont know what else to say, because I am just lost. Perhaps I should consider migrating to somewhere else. Some may say running away does not solve the problem, yes, but at least it alleviates the pain. Out of sight, out of mind.
I need to shoot like crazy. Life can be depressing. Let me out with the camera.