Thursday, April 12, 2007

Disillusioned


Of late, I have been feeling rather disillusioned. And a little depressed. I don’t know why I am feeling this way, but I feel like crap every time I get home after a long day at work. Perhaps it’s my job. It’s not that I have nothing to do and bore myself to death at the office- in fact I am a lot more busy than how I used to back in the headoffice- but it’s the WORK that I do that makes me feel down.

I think this is not the job that I wanna do for the rest of my life. I don’t see any career advancement anywhere in my work path and I don’t feel appreciated at all. Basically, I just don’t feel enthusiastic about my job anymore. Perhaps I have been placed in shitty situations so often that I have begun to lose my motivation to continue doing what I am doing. If it wasn’t for the 4 year bond I have with the company, I would have left much, much earlier…



But leaving the current job is not a solution for me. Not only I have to compensate the company for breaching our contract, I will have to start looking for another non QS job elsewhere. I have not decided what I should do, and I don’t even know what I am good at! I was thinking of going into events or even sales and marketing but…. The fear of uncertainty overwhelms me that I cant think rationally now.


I guess I need some time to calm down and think of what I really want. I am glad to have found people who share the same sentiment as me and I do hope to have a meeting with them to exchange ideas and encouragement. Till I finalized my decision, I will have to endure with this sucky job. I need God’s strength and wisdom a lot, or I’ll collapse one day due to depression.

No comments: