Thursday, January 04, 2007

Retrospection and Resolutions

2006 came and gone. 2007 arrived and soon will be gone too. But the year has just started and what a good time to reflect back on the good times and the bad times of the passing year as well as to establish new goals and new resolutions for the coming year. By the time I put this up on my blog, the better word would be 'for the year'.

I shall first take a stroll down double-0-six and reflect on the happenings in my life.

Events
1) I graduated. Finally. Refer to "Milestones"

2) I shifted out from my SS2 house to move in with my sister at Damansara. The new place has its pros and cons but overall everything is good.

3) My beloved Nissan Sunny was stolen right in front of my SS2 house, leaving me with so much of heartaches and tears. I remember the incident so vividly- I wanted to send my sister to Pudu when I realised that the car was not at where it should be. I franticaly looked for it and I couldnt find.

The trip to the police station gave me more tears than comfort. I had to deal with sacarstic and lazy cops who were more concerned of 'which handphone to give his 10As nephew'. Talking about "Mesra, Cekap dan Betul". My foot!

4) I finally decided to join a new Life Fellowship group. Refer to "Personal Growth"

Milestones:
1) I finally graduated from university, thus completed the second phase of my life. I was (and still am) glad that i dont have to study anymore. 15 years of formal education makes me wanna vomit when I see academic books. I dont miss exams and I definitely will not miss studying till late at night. But I will miss my friends and the good life that I had as a student.

2) I started my first job in a major construction firm. I am bonded, just in case you haven't heard. So, I'll be stuck with the company for the next 4 years or so.

3) I got a new car to replace the old trusty that was stolen early this year. For the first time in my life I actually bought something expensive and take up a loan for it.

4) Starting this blog was something that I am proud to have acheived thus far. It may not be a top notched 1000 viewer blog but it's still smthg dear to me. And I will not allow anyone to blow my passion for writing and blogging. At all cost.

5) Yes, being a committee of the Kelab Sukan is also smthg that I would like to think of as a minor milestone. It gives me the opportunity to organize events and being at the backstage to see the happenings and negotiations that people dont normally get to see. It's an experience I appreciate a lot as part of my self development and learning process. Perhaps with more exposure I could jump to events. Who knows the future rite?

Stumbles
1) Lots of minor stumbles but no fall so great that I couldnt pick myself again. By God's grace.

Ups
1) I cant remember any super 'ups'. Maybe I am too negative in viewing thing in my life that I fail to take notice of the good things that happened to me.

2) I have been struggling with self esteem almost all my life. (Yes, althought I may appear all bubbly and happy-go-lucky and confident and all). But I guess there are some moments when feel a little better about myself when people complement my looks. =)

Downs
1) Lots of downs. And mostly caused by either work or my self.

I wouldnt say that my career started with a bang. In fact I shed a lot of tears. I dont want to elaborate much about this.

2) I feel down and sometimes to the point of depression rather easily. I dont remember any particular events but I know there are a few.

Personal Growth
1) I dont feel like I've grown much in the past year. Like I am still emotionally weak like how I was in the previous years, and I am still not as knowledable to speak highly intelligent stuff to people. I still havent mastered any skill and I still cant speak any chinese dialect.

2) Spriritual growth wise, I have been slacking in my walk with God. I dont remember when and how I got a little disinterested in the things of God, maybe when I started work and was feeling down for a long time. Perhaps I got too contented with the environment and the people around me that I began to slack and take LF and church for granted. But I guess it's God's love for me that I am actually still believing in Him, and trusting Him to walk with me even in the midst of the darkness and desertland. Sometimes, you have to fall, crawl and thirst so that you can learn to depend on God and not yourself. And my state of self-induced depression that was born out of my own inferiority complex will never end until I really grasp the fact that I am worthy and have been made 'fearfully and wonderfully' by the Creator Himself. And until then, I will rise and fall, being sad all over and God will have to pick me up over and over again.

3) I have learnt to cook and currently still in the learning process. I love cooking but the only hinderance is my lack of self motivation (in simple terms: lazy)

Well, I've whipped good dishes and the dish of the year would be the Crab Curry! Yeah, I can cook crab too!

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Memory lane is short but vital in order to plan for the future and for goal setting this year. In summary, the 2006 was very much unplanned and messy, with almost nothing to be proud of.

I dont want 2007 to be the extended version of 2006. So I am setting goals for myself and a checklist for things hoped for and targets I hope to acheive throughout the year. I will make a masterplan and method statements to acheive my visions.

And all that will start with the transformation of my mind. I must start to think differently.

Will write more when I am ready to share my thoughts with u all.

2 comments:

s1nn3r said...

Me & Chad was so depressed during our first few days in Dubai. And suddenly this movie "Summer Switch" pop up with a phrase by the commander of the Camp. "TOUGH TIME DONT LAST, TOUGH PEOPLE DO"

take care my sis.. :P

Psalm 23

Petrina said...

dear friend, never feel that anything good goes to waste. yes, i miss the good ol' days when we were both in uni...i miss you too...

but what can i say? we were meant to look forward, not backwards, and that's what we all must do. will talk to you more when i can see you, take care ya!