Thursday, October 19, 2006

Special scholar? NO

This is not a hate post. Dont worry.

I dont know why but I kinda feel that my status in the company, being a scholar has both worked for and against my interest, more inclined to the latter.

To begin with, I dont like the way people treat me like I'm "somebody" in the company. Please, I'm just another junior staff and I dont appreciate people thinking that whatever I do, I'm gonna be safe anyway because I'm bonded to the company for the next 4 years.

Being a scholar means having to work EXTRA hard to prove myself that the company did not waste their money funding my studies. And being a scholar also puts myself in a situation where the bosses will have a higher expectation on me. This means extra stress and hardache.

I've noticed-yes, I'm not stupid, neither am I blind- that there are people who would try their level best, grabbing every opportunity to knock me down. Deliberately or not. But what they fail to understand is, im not sitting on a pedestal. In fact I'm standing on a lower ground, still very much a fresh junior and have a lot more to learn before i can walk myself without any aid. What's the point of trying so hard to knock off somebody so small from her space? You get nothing. I am not a threat to anyone. And I have absolutely no interest or intent to play office politics. I believe, as naive as it seem, that as long as I dont disturb u, you have no right to downcast or bad-mouth me

I do hope that the person I am referring to is reading this. But I doubt so. The gist of this is, I am NOT any better or higher than any of you, and being a scholar simply means that I was not rich enough to fund my own studies that I had to earn myself a scholarship to further my education. And me getting a scholarship from this company was not because of my own effort, it was solely God's grace.

The next time i hear anyone say that "tina is ok, she's a scholar, she'll be fine. we are different, we cannot [do whatever the issue is]" i will dis that person right away. I mean it.

1 comment:

soong said...

Plan what u want to do & do what u plan. Dont bother with the destructive opinion or suggestion.